letter to an nfp group, 12.18.04

Hello, I'm a first year OB-tracked intern at Ingham Regional Medical Center in Lansing, Michigan. You know, I almost didn't do OB... I had all the concerns everyone has voiced; I vied for other specialties like surgery and family practice. I was at my wits end because I promised God I'd only do OB His way. Then suddenly a spot in OB opened up and I decided to speak candidly with the director of the program, who, "luckily", knew me because he had performed my C-section. We agreed to be able to work around my convictions. However, it is a daily struggle for me. There are times when it is impossible not to avoid getting the "patient that wants birth control" when there are 40 people in the waiting room waiting to be seen and you're the only resident. Sometimes it's impossible to scrub out of a C-section when suddenly you realize there's going to be a tubal; I have no choice but to retract, etc., but at least the attendings know where I stand.

Ironically, the most passive-aggressive negative reactions I get are from fellow Catholics. However, I know God (and Mary) want me here as an example, and I just pray and do my best on a daily basis. When I finish I hope to either start or join an NFP-only OB/Gyn practice. I only hope God will help provide a position that will also allow me to have family time as well. You know, the day I made the decision to go for the OB spot was the Feast Day of the Immaculate Conception; the day I got the spot was the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadelupe. On the day of my last interview Mary's image was adorning the back of a large van, guiding me right to my destination. Anyway, I did not mean to make this message long. It's comforting to know all of you feel the same way. Thanks. In Him, Madeleine Guevara

RESPONSE:
dear madeleine guevara,
yes it's easy to talk in 3rd person, because you do it all the time with your kids, even though you promised you wouldn't be that kind of parent. it's 4 years later and you've had a really rough week at work. something about the college girl wanting contraception, but not asking you for it during her exam, then getting her mom after you when she couldn't return for counselling because she's at college. take a deep breath...

remember how you found your dream house on mother's day and Pentecost? remember how you had no choice but to start your practice on august 15th, the feast day of the assumption of Our Lady? remember that your friends at Tepeyac are truly your friends and at the forefront of the pro-life movement, even though you're shy and relatively not politically aggressive? remember that you're not the only pro-life anti-contraceptive life-affirming nfp-ing doctor on staff; it's no accident that you work with francis. build up that 3rd shelf in your bookcase at work... you know the one with all the catholic bioethics quarterlies and the norma mccorvey book. start planning that prayer garden that you and luci thought of... it's almost spring. remember the psalm you heard today during Mass at luci's school: the Lord is my light and my salvation, of whom should i be afraid? you weren't placed in this position to be comfortable, but to do God's work. you should stand tall instead of making apologies or excuses for yourself! women need a doctor like you! and finally, what your hubby says is true:

pray pray pray. (see, he sounds just like Mama Mary)
clearly these are attacks. and you need spiritual weapons.
mama mary. gianna. jpii. mary magdalene. michael. rely on this communion of saints. we will up our prayers for you at home. bible study.
prayer is not a coping mech. tap into the holy spirit. you have access by your baptism & confirm. open yourself to his will. confession would be good too, and adoration.

you're going to be fine.
love, me

Mid-Winter Update

Both boys just fell asleep ... I'm typing as fast as I can.

The past 6 weeks have marked the first 'final' transition to our life here in Northern Michigan:

Madeleine back to work at the clinic, me at home with Lijah & Simon, Luci well on her way to the 1st Grade and our first 6 months here as Cheboyganites!

The Weather

We've seen it all. 90 degree days on the beach. Minus 10 degree days with feet of snow. Frozen river with nearly 20 ice fishing shanties. 50 degree weather in the middle of Dec & Feb ... ice fishermen frantically removing their miniature fishing castles.

Milestones

Lucia is one of the best readers in her class, but we are most proud of this observation from her teachers: "When they all have free play time, she always makes sure no one is playing alone."

Additionally, Lucia has a few big events coming up this Spring:

* Thursday, April 2nd - School Spring Concert. Really big production at the Opera House from

what I've gathered.

* Sunday, April 26th - 1st piano recital!!! We've found a wonderful teacher, Mrs. McCorkle, who is a recently retired Church Organist. Luci will apparently be opening the recital with a solo, then to be joined for a duet with her teacher. Needless to say, we are both thrilled:)

* Sunday, May 17th - 3rd dance recital. Another gig at the Opera House. Will include a ballet and tap performance by our prima ballerina.

Elijah has been working towards 'earning' a big Little Einstein's Rocket for successful completion of his Potty Poop Chart. Every successful trip earns a sticker; fulfillment of all boxes earns the prize! I thought about a negative consequence for failure to properly evacuate, but he's only 3:)

Lij is also busy being Kuya Lijah to his baby brother. He is actually quite well adjusted to sharing me; we'll see how he is when Simon wants to start playing with his toys.

Simon has finally begun to accept my milk offerings during the day. After the troubleshooting of 4 adults, 6-8 nipple brands/sizes and an OB hospital staff, Simon settled on the natural latex rubber orthodontic disposable nursery Similac nipples. He is eating quite well, landing himself in the 90th percentile weight category and also landing the nickname 'the gourd.'

a thousand words

this must've been a tuesday, because i was racing home and the sun was still out. gary just texted a picture of another traintrack endeavor, consisting of two sets linked together. he snapped it before it was inevitably destroyed by elijahsaurus rex. on the way home i praised God for the piercing light and evangelical-looking clouds. i took a phone pic of a tractor loader i thought lij would enjoy. i passed the ormsbee cows covered with snow. luci calls them "cowcakes" because the snow looks like frosting. the view gets more breathtaking as we approach the house. the reflection of the sun on the river is also piercing. we totally didn't plow the driveway, even though there was like a foot of accumulation. four wheel drive does us well!












bedtime doesn't have any standard rituals (sorry g!)... i usually shower with luci, which is an event in itself because she likes to wash my hair and occasionally squirt me with cold water. after we're dry and dressed, she can usually cajole me into painting our toenails. she usually tries to find interesting things in my closet; that day it was a necklace i got as a Christmas gift. it's rare that i let lij get so close to simon, as he can be too rough with his affection, e.g. nibbling on the ears or pinching the cheeks and toes. it's hard to rationalize with him when luci gets full access to the baby. often she makes nests for him with pillows (pediatricians beware!) and offers her little chest for milk. then i get to spend the nite with my little gourd. oh my gourd!

Love and Freedom

It amazes me how a little peanut like Simon
can shake up a household,
force a rearranging of priorities,
cause everyone to lose sleep,
changes everything that the Guevara family
did before him.

But a baby changes everything.

"Love consists of a commitment
which limits one's freedom -
it is a giving of the self,
and to give oneself means just that:
to limit one's freedom on behalf of another.
Limitation of one's freedom might seem
to be something negative and unpleasant,
but love makes it a positive, joyful
and creative thing.
Freedom exists for the sake of love ...
Man longs for love more than for freedom -
freedom is the means and love the end."

John Paul II, Love and Responsibility