Quarterly Review

It's 12 in the morning ... and I can't sleep ...
Just realized the Earl Grey I drank was caffeinated.

My previous employers always gave
monthly or at least quarterly reviews.
Since I now work for myself (or at least Elijah:),
I thought I'd ramble about our first 3 months
here in Cheboygan:

Top 10 Observations
(as a newcomer to Northern Michigan)

10. Everyone waves. Whether shouting 'welcome to
the neighborhood' from their trucks or simply driving
down the dirt road - complete strangers acknowledge
us. We experienced the change moving from A2 to EL.
Even more so from Lans to Cheb. People just take the
time to treat you like a person.

9. Quiet is nice. God's voice (as in the case of Elijah
in the Bible) is heard in the silence. I joked with Mad
that God let's us have loud, boisterous children so
our souls can crave silence. It can get so quiet that I
get annoyed when I hear one of the 2 analog clocks in
our house tick. It's also comforting to know that there's
a city ordinance prohibiting "loud, vibrating music" from
emanating from a car or home that disturbs the public.
Ah ... South Lansing:)

8. Speaking of clocks ... we don't have them anymore.
We've got the 2 analogs that were kid's gifts, and the
microwave and range, our cell phones and my wrist
watch, but every room doesn't have a clock like it was
in Lansing. We had so little time then; every minute
was measured and stretched to get everything out of it.
Mad got her wish of being able to stop time.

7. "You have no events scheduled today." Google calendar
still sends me this reminder, which also used to forward
to my cell - it was the only way to remember where & when
I had to be. The 'events' I have 'scheduled' today would have
never made my calendar 6 months ago: get knots out of Luci's
hair, take Lij to story time at the library, learn how to cook
adobo, teach my daughter the difference between a dotted half
note and a whole note, build tracks that make trains jump ...
It was tough to come to the realization that we got through all
the events in the past 5 years by abdicating those events that,
for most people, don't count and yet, count the most.

6. I'm surrounded by salmon (and other fish). Lijah fights like one
and Luci's blankie smells like one. I can fish for them, and I get
better at this skill each time I go out. Almost confident enough to
say that I could feed my family, but it's still unsettling to see an
eviscerated fish flop around like he's still got a chance.

Jesus was a genius. Fishermen realize that it's not just about having
a good lure, or a big boat or even mild winds: you have to know the
fish you're fishing for. Jesus' first disciples would really need to know
this. And, there can be a lot of down time ... perfect for reflecting on
his Word, praying or [interruption] FISH ON! (means I've got one
on my hook, so get out of the way and go get the net)

5. Solidarity. One of JPII's big themes was this, early on with the
workers movement against Communism in his native Poland, and
later with regards to the question, "Am I my brother's keeper?"
Lansing had a population of around 360k. There's maybe 20k
up here. Workers at a local factory got laid off - like 5 of them. We
happen to know one of their spouses. We sold my old Tercel for
$500. Saw it parked in the Church lot before Mass a week later.
A guy who runs the local ice skating pavilion and gave me free passes
was holding the door for me at Luci's school for an event collecting
items for the local food pantry. This small community is an amazing
case study for the butterfly effect. It is for this reason that we try
to reinvest as much money as we earn back into this community that
has accepted us with open arms.

4. Street names. Families have been around here for so long that
they live on the street bearing their name. Newman. St. Antoine.
Woiderski. 200 years from now? Guevara Blvd. Point is: people that
are born and raised here will typically move away, but they always
come back. Most people we meet have local ties, spent time
'downstate' (I never understood this word until now) and move back.
I am beginning to (after a few years of pondering this) understand why.

3. Stars. I've just never seen so many. I woke up this morning and I
could see Orion's belt as clear as a Lite Bright outside my bedroom
window. Then I realized I could see even more from our driveway.
Since there are no street lights, it gets pitch dark out. A little scary,
but I have yet to encounter coyote or bears. Yet.

2. Woody. So we hear this rat-tat-tat-tat on our wall.
I think it's Lij with his spoons. Mad thinks I'm installing a shelf.
Luci and I stalk outside and see this black and white woodpecker
going to town on my house! I think it's cool, until I recognize his
handiwork on all four sides of our wooden siding. After talking with
some locals, I am now researching fake owls and air soft guns. For
now, I just bang on the wall. I have deadly aim with a pistol, but
I dig the idea of having woodpeckers spooked by fake owl eyes.

1. Mad & I have officially had more date nights over the past 3 months
than (seemingly) our last 5 years in Lansing. We've also instituted
couch time just about every night ... "no interruptions while mom & dad
talk." Luci's great about it; Lijah will just usually cuddle with the Simon
belly quietly. I gave my wife to that residency for a while; she gave me
to the Church. We used to have this check off on the refrigerator marking
the days until Cheboygan. It started off with nearly 200 boxes. I am
so thankful to the Lord to have her back and our family back in balance;
I pray that His Spirit would continue to balance us as we prepare to imbalance
ourselves again with Simon Dominic. Gotta love it.

Here's to sleepless nights and tired days
all in the name of bebes.

manila folder labelled "introspection" = ramblings

"thank you Daddy God for my food." it's 3am and i'm eating spaghetti. i've been up since 140 going through a pee-drink water-pee cycle. actually what got me up in the first place were a few contractions, which have left (for now) thanks to the liter i just drank. which means i will have to pee again in about 25 minutes. i've also been watching the kids sleep. they're so big now. but whenever i think of them i still think, "my BA-bies!!!" i was flat out sobbing staring at luci. not sure why. nothing sad/worrisome to think about except her growing up and keeping her soul on track and hoping she makes good friends and knowing that no matter what, as long as she loves God, she's going to be okay. a few weeks ago she announced to us, "you know... i think maybe one day i'd like to marry Jesus." "oh, okay..." we said, adding that visiting sister marita in the bronx would be a good idea, and maybe a couple of shrines along the way too. oh, and the sentence before that was, "i want to help the poor. maybe i can give away some of my toys and we can get them food..." but luci is already attracted to fashion and shoes and dark-haired boys (thanks a lot prince aidan and nutcracker prince and robert/prince edward and even the elfish looking guy on a zelda cartoon series we found on netflix.com). but somewhere deep inside her first imprinting, so to speak, has been her daddy - the first guy to whom all guys will be measured. her handsome zookeeper. DAH-dee. the guy from whom she will learn sacrifice, respect, and fear/love of God. no pressure, right g?

then there's my boy. i regret that i can't keep up with him. he's so full of non-stop zeal. he laughs hard, plays hard, kisses hard... i've never felt a painful eskimo kiss but i guess they do exist - in the form of a nose-aimed head butt. he can be gentle too. like when i come home and he says, "mommy i love you." or when i get dressed for work and he says, "mommy is princess?" and i say, "who's my prince?" "elijah." i always thought he would be more like me. when he was a baby he was so quiet and passive... he only gurgled and twitched when it was time for milk. he rarely cried/howled. but when age two hit he suddenly became LOUD. oh well. we were in church last weekend and when the Allelujah came he sang very very loudly (and off key a little), "AHHH-LLEEE-LUUUUU-JAHHHHHHHH..." i was a little embarassed, being in the hometown church and all, but then i wondered, why doesn't anyone else sing at mass with gusto, like we're experiencing the true presence of Christ, and the rafters are probably jam-packed with angels, and it's like being at the throne of God? apparently he also sings loudly outside of mass, like at storytime at the library, i guess he was the lead singer in "love grows..." and "the more we get together..." that's when i think - the genetics from g. i wish i had more energy to figure out my boy. he's so quirky. we liken him to a salmon - enjoyable, about 30 pounds, hard to wrestle down, stinky at times. like this evening, he wanted to take a long bubble bath. i told him he had to wait until daddy got home (school meeting). so he ran to the front window, looked for g's car, then went to the bathtub with all his clothes on and lay down flat with his red truck. waiting. i feel i only have a few weeks before my time will get divided yet again. for now i will cherish the sheer randomness of being with him. "oh mommy, i like harold ice cream it's so yummy watch in-gee-ana chones (indiana jones)?"

at 3am... wait... now 4am... i wonder why my head spins when life's equation really boils down to this: love God, teach your loved ones to love God, die in God's time, go to heaven with them. on this note... good night.

weekend recap

longer workweek over
we prepped for anti-proposal 2 community forum
why am i the spokesperson now? g is so much better at this...
100# of pumpkins at crusoe's apple orchard
cost = $20
weekend at grandma's for her 70th birthday
kids always blow out the candles...
g brings all the pumpkins in the house
luci draws the faces... and micromanages
but it all gets done
in time to play in the leaves
and swing by the "other" apple orchard for petting zoo and donuts
and drive the 40 minutes home instead of 4.5 hours
and nap
and eat spaghetti

missed out on the life chain this year...

(scenes from last year)











during my last month in lansing i was driving to a clinic on the other side of town. there was a random crack in the road, and out of that crack was growing a growth-stunted sunflower... it was still around 2-3 feet tall. drivers were going to all lengths not to hit this flower. there was swerving, honking, last second lane switching, and even a couple of rear-ended love taps. it made me wonder... how many of those drivers were pro-choice? just curious.